Misophonia: When Everyday Sounds Feel Unbearable
- Philippa Balazs
- Aug 16
- 5 min read
It’s January 2016 and I’m on a high-speed commuter train to Paddington,
heading to my pre-counsellor corporate job. Halfway through the journey, I
realise I’ve forgotten my headphones. My chest tightens, my skin prickles, and
panic rises. I do this journey every day and I can’t travel without them. Not just
because of sensory overwhelm, but because of misophonia: an extreme
sensitivity to everyday sounds.
On this 20-minute journey, there’s nowhere to hide: the train is packed. I
wedge one finger in my ear and press the other against the cold window to
block the man next to me that’s sniffing over and over. I shoot him a filthy look
to telepathically inform him he needs to blow his nose, to which he is quite
bewildered. The sniffing continues.
During my lunch break I get my hands on a new pair of headphones and feel a
an enormous wave of relief knowing I’m “protected” on the train home.
What Is Misophonia?
Misophonia is defined as a neuropsychological condition, possibly a lesser-
known neurodivergent trait, and is thought to be more common in autistic
people. It has gained more attention in recent years through coverage by
outlets like The Guardian and the BBC.
As a kid I clearly struggled with it but it wasn’t until 2009, when I met an
audiologist who asked if I’d heard of it. I hadn’t and immediately wanted to
know more. At that time, almost no information was available, and a Google
search turned up next to nothing.
The term means “hatred of sound,” but the reality is far more complex. A 2023
study estimated that up to 18% of the population may have misophonia. That’s
nearly one in five people experiencing distress triggered by specific noises.
Misophonia Triggers
Misophonia triggers are often repetitive, human-made sounds, particularly
those involving the mouth, though not always. Common examples include:
• Sniffing and coughing
• Open mouth chewing
• Gum chewing or popping
• Slurping
• Crunching (crisps, popcorn)
• Whistling or humming
• Mouth clicking or dry mouth sounds when talking
• Breathing or snoring
• Repetitive tapping (clock ticking, pen tapping, dripping taps)
• Low-level humming or other low-level repetitive noises
While these are the most frequent triggers, the list isn’t exhaustive. Notably,
misophonia isn’t the same as hyperacusis (a sensitivity to certain sounds that
causes physical pain) or general overwhelm from loud environments (though
these can occur together).
Misophonia Characteristics and Daily Impact
To the sufferer, a trigger can dominate their awareness completely - a
hyperfocus of the worst kind. This is particularly challenging in open plan
spaces like offices or learning institutions. But perhaps where misophonia
shows up the most is in relationships, where triggers often come from those
closest to us in our home environments.
We don’t yet have a full picture of why this should be. It’s commonly
associated with strong feelings of anger and disgust toward the person who is
triggering it.
The Role of Shame in Misophonia
With all this in mind it’s not difficult to see why living with misophonia also
comes with a heavy dose of shame.
Social Pressure: Many triggers happen in social settings: family meals, work
meetings, education settings, public spaces etc and so avoiding them can feel
like “being difficult” or “antisocial.”
Internalised Messages: People may have been told since childhood to “get
over it” or “you’re just being sensitive,” or worse “you’re weird”, leading them
to doubt their own experience.
Loss of Control: The inability to “just ignore it” and spiralling into rage (or
autistic meltdown) can cause strong feelings of shame.
Self-Judgment: They may believe something is morally “wrong” with them for
reacting so strongly.
The Shame Cycle in Action
1. Trigger sound occurs → intense misophonia reaction.
2. Person feels embarrassed for reacting.
3. Shame increases stress and self-criticism.
4. Heightened stress makes them even more reactive next time.
5. Cycle repeats.
The role shame plays in misophonia can be so debilitating that it may explain
the strong association with:
• Depression
• Chronic anxiety
• Panic attacks
• Rage or physical aggression
• Withdrawal or shutdown
• Meltdowns
• Self-harm or suicidal thoughts
Relationships
Misophonia has a notable impact on close relationships too. Loved ones can
often be found making significant adjustments to avoid triggering the sound
sensitivity. It can mean eating in different spaces and at different times or
sleeping in separate beds. If the partner is neurodivergent some of the trigger
sounds may be part of their self-regulation or stimming such as tapping, pen
clicking or using fidget toys.
While many family members are often supportive and compassionate, they
may also feel a very heavy burden of always being on alert and it can impact
their mental health too.
Misophonia Treatment and Therapeutic Approaches
Misophonia is still in the early stages of being recognised clinically. Proposals
have been made to include it in the ICD-11, but for now, it remains
unclassified in both the DSM and ICD. This means professional understanding
and available treatment is very limited.
Current Misophonia Therapy Options
There’s growing research interest in finding effective misophonia treatment:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT is currently the most supported approach. It helps individuals examine
the shame cycle; thoughts, feelings, and behaviours linked to their triggers,
and can build strategies to manage them. Access to specialist CBT, however,
can be expensive and not always neuroaffirming.
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)
EMDR is also gaining attention. Early studies suggest it can help reduce
trauma-related misophonia symptoms. This is promising, as misophonia may
have complex links to both neurodivergence and trauma. Like trauma, it often
worsens during burnout or when coping capacities are starting to be
exceeded.
For Therapists and Clients
My hope is to educate and raise awareness of misophonia within the
neurodivergent community. Without awareness, it can easily be lumped into a
general “sensory difficulty,” but this overlooks the deep-rooted shame and its
profound relational impact. The triggers often involve loved ones,
understanding misophonia could be vital in therapeutic work.
Key Takeaways
Misophonia isn’t curable: it’s a neurologically different way of processing
sound. Like anything, therapy is a great place to start the understanding and
even without a clear evidence base, working with a compassionate
neuroaffirming therapists can still support with:
Identifying triggers and personal history around misophonia
Trauma informed approach to neurodivergence
Working with a reducing shame
Building self-acceptance and self-compassion
Developing self-regulation tools
Understanding personal capacity and window of tolerance
How to advocate for reasonable adjustments
You can view Philippa's directory profile here. https://www.autistictherapistdirectory.com/uk-autistic-therapists/philippa-balazs
References & Further Reading
Misaphonia Info & Support
Living with Misophonia: “I Love You, but I Hate the Noises You Make”
noises-you-make/
Misophonia in the UK - “Prevalence and norms from the S-Five in a UK
representative sample”
“Effectiveness of an innovative treatment protocol for misophonia in
children and adolescents: Design of a randomized controlled trial”
“Cognitive behavioral therapy for misophonia: A randomized clinical
trial”
“EMDR therapy for misophonia: a pilot study of case series”
Misaphonia Foundation - “WHO ICD-11 Misophonia Proposal”
Guardian Article - “Misophonia: how ‘sound rage’ destroys relationships
and forces people to move home”
rage-destroys-relationships-and-forces-people-to-move-home
BBC: “What is Misaphonia?”
NHS Oxford Health: “What is Misophonia?”
NHS Cambridge University Hospital: “Other types of Neurodiversity”
types-of-neurodiversity/
The Misaphonia Podcast
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