Person-Centred Counselling: A Neurodivergent-Affirming Approach for Autism and ADHD

Introduction

Autistic and ADHD adults often face barriers to mental health

Lottie Lamb - Autistic & ADHD Person-Centred Counsellor

support, from misunderstanding to pressure to ‘fit in.’ Person-Centred Counselling offers an alternative—one that values autonomy, empathy, and unconditional acceptance.

What is Person-Centred Counselling?

Person-Centred Counselling, developed by Humanistic Psychologist Carl Rogers (1902–1987), is a non-directive talking therapy. It focuses on the client’s experience and autonomy.

The therapist provides their client with a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment where they can explore their thoughts and feelings, finding solutions that work for them. The counsellor facilitates this using empathy, genuineness and unconditional acceptance.

Why Person-Centred Counselling Matters

Many neurodivergent adults grow up feeling that acceptance depends on meeting external expectations. This often leads to masking—hiding authentic traits to fit social norms. While masking can help navigate the world, it comes at a cost: exhaustion, anxiety, and burnout. Person-Centred Counselling offers a different path—one that values authenticity and self-acceptance.

What Makes Person-Centred Counselling Different?

• Non-pathologising: a person-centred philosophy views people as fundamentally healthy beings striving toward growth and self-actualisation. It doesn’t aim to ‘fix’ clients, but to provide a supportive environment where growth can be nurtured. This fits in well with the philosophy of the Neurodiversity movement, celebrating difference while still recognising the unique challenges faced by the community. 

• Collaboration over Compliance - Person-Centred counselling focuses on a collaboration between counsellor and client. Clients are seen as the ‘expert’ on their own lives, and the counsellor is there to walk alongside them, understand their process and to gently guide them toward finding their own solutions. This promotes client autonomy and builds the client's trust in themselves. 

• Modelling empathy and Authenticity - Person-Centred counsellors provide clients with an empathic, accepting environment where they are encouraged to be authentically themselves. By modelling genuineness, counsellors help clients develop self-compassion and reduce internalised shame.

• Encourages self-awareness & acceptance -Exploring configurations of self—the unique ways we experience and express identity—can help clients understand masking and reconnect with their true selves. This awareness fosters deeper self-acceptance.

• Works well with demand avoidance - Person-centred counselling is all about the client’s process, and the counsellor seeks to understand the client's worldview. Because Person-Centred Counselling is non-directive, every interaction is an invitation, not a demand. This approach respects autonomy and reduces anxiety for clients who experience demand avoidance.

The added value of working with a Neurodivergent Counsellor

While any qualified Person-Centred Counsellor can provide these conditions, working with a counsellor who has lived experience of autism or ADHD can offer additional benefits:

• Trust and Safety - Many Autistic and ADHD clients have experienced healthcare professionals who have dismissed their experience and misunderstood their needs. Counsellors who understand Neurodivergence through lived experience are more able to provide a safe, therapeutic relationship where neurodivergent clients feel heard and respected. 

• Validation of experience - Autistic & ADHD clients often have challenges in a world that is not designed for them, and this can lead to isolation and trauma. Counsellors who understand this through lived experience are able to understand and validate this experience. Validation can counteract the shame and guilt that so often accompany these experiences.

• Tailored and flexible approach - Neurodivergent therapists naturally tend to use explicit, less ambiguous language and provide information in advance, easing anxiety or uncertainty. They also understand the need for sensory accommodations, providing softer lighting and more flexibility for movement, etc. Additional processing time is provided to clients so that they can articulate their thoughts without feeling rushed, and neurodivergent therapists understand and value the need for ‘info-dumping’, for example. 

• Accurate interpretation of distress - Autistic & ADHD clients might express emotions and distress in ways that are not typically recognised by non-autistic people (e.g., "masking" distress, different body language, alexithymia). Lived experience helps a counsellor to look beyond neurotypical cues, check in proactively with the client, and believe their reports of distress.

• Informed, not assumed knowledge - Through lived experience, a Neurodivergent counsellor will likely be up to date with the latest knowledge about our community. This helps to avoid outdated stereotypes and misconceptions, preventing unhelpful or even harmful attempts to change the client to become more ‘Neurotypical’. 

Summary 

It is essential that neurodivergent clients feel they are in a safe, authentic, non-pathologising, and non-judgmental space that nurtures their growth through a mutual understanding of their unique strengths and challenges. I feel that Person-Centred Counselling with the right counsellor has the potential to achieve this. 

This, of course, doesn’t mean that I don’t feel that other approaches can be beneficial, and I have colleagues who successfully incorporate other approaches alongside the Person-Centred approach. 

I believe the therapeutic relationship is one of the most important factors in successful therapy, and for this reason, the Person-Centred approach provides a fantastic foundation to build upon, especially when working with neurodivergence. 

If you’re seeking a safe, non-judgemental space to explore your experiences, Person-Centred Counselling may be the right fit. Consider working with a counsellor who understands neurodivergence—through training and lived experience.

By Lottie Lamb - Autistic & ADHD Person-Centred Counsellor

https://www.autistictherapistdirectory.com/uk-autistic-therapists/charlotte-lamb